Including the TEACHERS, HEALERS, HELPERS, and CARETAKERS
So many of us are blessed with natural and soulful care and concern for others. We spend our days shaping our lives around others. We find love and beauty in selflessness, but without including ourselves in this blessed nurturing, a consistent, full heart remains illusive. Such fullness is felt through service, the love of others, the blessings of others, the joys and sorrows, and the soul plans followed and those not followed. We are helping, loving, accepting and showing our deepest heartfelt understanding by holding space for other’s soul fulfillment. “What a beautiful thing!” You might say. True, it is. Service to others is the ultimate gift to Self. What happens though is an odd feeling of emptiness when we forget ourselves. When the person receiving the caretaking withdraws and detaches to experience their own sense of self, we find ourselves stunned with a gaping hole in our hearts remembering the need to find joy in ourselves, and our own energy. In the moment of disconnection from those we care for, creatures of habit that we are, we are not equipped with the focus needed for ourselves and we lack the necessary routine and rituals that accompany a healthy lifestyle. And you know, some of these people never withdraw. They are the needy type. This may be comforting at first, then exhausting because each one of us have a deep, inner calling to find our true soul center. Our soul center is the place where our spiritual heart feels contentment, peace, love, joy and passion. As we follow our soul plan, we feel the fulfillment in everything we do, even when it gets tough as we are still learning and growing here on Earth. It is necessary to love and care with boundaries that allow both the caretaker and the receiver to each have his or her own space for soul growth.
Here is a simple, but Golden Tip #1:
Imagine a Golden Chalice in the center of your heart. Know this Chalice must remain full at all times and with all kinds of love. Ask yourself if you are “topped off,” fill your Chalice up! Cute huh? Sounds like a fluid check at the service station! If you are not topped off, fill it! You can fill it one day at a time, one hour at a time, weekly, etc…. This depends on your need.
Knock Three Times, Tip #2:
Boundaries are good. Here is a way to hold loving boundaries where you too are included in the love. Ask yourself three times. Do I need to tend to this and be present here? If you get a yes after “knocking three times,” it’s a solid yes. For those of you who may be my age, remember Tony Orlando? “Knock three times on the ceiling…?” If you get a single no (or more) out of three, it’s a no. Let go.
A Wonderful Journaling Tip #3:
Get a journal that is solely for writing one message a day about what you did that day to recognize how wonderful you are. Use your senses. Feel your favorite things spiritually (knowing and seeing included), emotionally (Feel, feel, feel and it is all ok! Give that to yourself.), mentally (You are smart and interesting.), physically (Eat, jump, dance, stretch, take risks by touching, feeling, and experiencing.), egoically (You have talent. Be confident.), and soulfully (How do you serve others and yourself with what you enjoy?). Take notice of what you love in nature, music, people, movies, exercise, words….
Wendy Chaffin
June 2016