Recently, my experiences have percolated old memories with flash backs and old, repressed feelings I hoped had disappeared long ago.
I attribute this deep immersive review to Mercury retrograde helping me recap, review and rework the past. Credit also goes to the last, fancy red, Full Moon, Solar Eclipse in Scorpio stimulating me to purge old, worn-out fears and release me to freedom. It’s been an uncomfortable wrap up for sure. I know a Solar Eclipse usually works on us for about six months (hang in there gang). I recognize the worst of it has been addressed (thank you, Mercury). I utilized my own counseling techniques on myself and I anticipate more practice in the months ahead.
I’ve made the clear choice to forgive myself for remembering painful events, yet again. Remembering, forgiving and releasing can be powerful. I forgive and release myself from the burden of unhappy thoughts of the past, both real and imagined. Surprisingly, this time around, walking through the scary hurts (as I came through to the other side) felt like nothing at all. Whew! Actually, as I take a walk down memory lane, I’ve been discovering wisdom and acceptance that I’ve gained over the years.
I forgive myself for having been disappointed, fearful, annoyed, helpless, ever so sad and negative! You see, I had to remember all those uncomfortable feelings and old mindsets! Blah!
I forgive, again, all those involved. I reviewed the crappy feeling of being lied to, ignored, unappreciated, scared and disrespected. This has helped me to identify areas of my life where I now choose to take better care of myself by setting and maintaining personal boundaries.
I also delved into compassion for all those people. They never really meant to be difficult. I unlocked my heart and felt their love and their pain. In my mind’s eye, I can see a new line in the sand. It’s a reminder to forget how it went down in the past, and to work together more effectively in the present.
Working together to me, in this case, means to be present. Be kind. Be an observer and a listener. Support, if reasonable, when asked, or if support is alluded to. Most of all, be encouraging. So many wonderful people have helped me be the person I am today by believing in me when I didn’t believe in myself. Share the magic.
Below is a very purposeful Forgiveness Ritual from Don Miguel Ruiz, “The Mastery of Self”. Write it in a journal, or in the air, video record yourself reading it, or simply read and recite…
I ___________, am ready to forgive all those who inflicted pain and suffering on me in the past. I choose to forgive them, so that their actions of the past can no longer affect my present. My wish is to see them through eyes of unconditional love. I also forgive myself for anything and everything related to these events. I was doing my best at the time. I pray that these people and myself can experience only love and peace going forward.
Wendy Chaffin 5/2022